its 4 am and i was awaken from my sleep
finally i am terribly grateful, my migraine is gone.
and i got my stomach filled.

i sat down lying against the bed frame.
i wonder...why did i cry so much, why did i go through this which seems everlasting pain?
i definitely deserve some shut eye as i stayed all night, last night, crying as much as my heart could take.

& he has yet to repent and make ammendments for what he had done.
& i have yet gotten through this, ready to let go.

all the promises he made, about making me the happiest girl alive.
maybe my expectation was over-rated.
nonetheless, it was just an innocent wishes and hopes.
the saying goes " a girl can dream"

so what now? as i thought to myself.
let's be friends.
cause partners DONT LIE to each other.
unless you are cunningly smart to cover. in which i doubt you are.
so HONESTY is the BEST POLICY.
let's be friends.
and i thought BESTFRIENDS,
were suppose to give the BEST ADVISE to one another. 

"People sometimes lie to protect their loved ones.."

& i thought? why do something that you know jolly well might hurt 
your loved ones?
& i thought, again, so does that mean IF i ( in which i never) cheat behind you,
i can lie to you?
cause i know telling you would hurt your feelings?

am i making any freaking sense here?

my deepest apologise in going back against my words,
that i would lock my emotions in the deepest darkest corner of my heart.
but it is only humane to respond on emotions.
and if only you are as humane,
to seek forgiveness after what you thought you could get away from lying and all.
and if only you are as humane,
you would live up to YOUR WORD, PROMISES and stop making me wait and all.

yes, my love is like a roller coaster ride.
i love him with my whole damn life. 
and at times, i hurt him as much as he is hurting me, right this moment.

baby, i shall wait until you are ready to seek forgiveness.
your sorries, top with flowers and wonderful dates.
yes, i require high maintenance now, due to the great damages you've made.

till then.
i'mma grab myself some medication to sleep.

i love my girls for being there for me, atleast making me not thinking of the scorching pain my heart feels everytime my phone feel silent for such a long time.

no matter what.
just remember, i love you so much.
but that doesnt mean i would live my life with you, hurting me.

adios'

its 4 am and i was awaken from my sleep
finally i am terribly grateful, my migraine is gone.
and i got my stomach filled.

i sat down lying against the bed frame.
i wonder...why did i cry so much, why did i go through this which seems everlasting pain?
i definitely deserve some shut eye as i stayed all night, last night, crying as much as my heart could take.

& he has yet to repent and make ammendments for what he had done.
& i have yet gotten through this, ready to let go.

all the promises he made, about making me the happiest girl alive.
maybe my expectation was over-rated.
nonetheless, it was just an innocent wishes and hopes.
the saying goes " a girl can dream"

so what now? as i thought to myself.
let's be friends.
cause partners DONT LIE to each other.
unless you are cunningly smart to cover. in which i doubt you are.
so HONESTY is the BEST POLICY.
let's be friends.
and i thought BESTFRIENDS,
were suppose to give the BEST ADVISE to one another. 

"People sometimes lie to protect their loved ones.."

& i thought? why do something that you know jolly well might hurt 
your loved ones?
& i thought, again, so does that mean IF i ( in which i never) cheat behind you,
i can lie to you?
cause i know telling you would hurt your feelings?

am i making any freaking sense here?

my deepest apologise in going back against my words,
that i would lock my emotions in the deepest darkest corner of my heart.
but it is only humane to respond on emotions.
and if only you are as humane,
to seek forgiveness after what you thought you could get away from lying and all.
and if only you are as humane,
you would live up to YOUR WORD, PROMISES and stop making me wait and all.

yes, my love is like a roller coaster ride.
i love him with my whole damn life. 
and at times, i hurt him as much as he is hurting me, right this moment.

baby, i shall wait until you are ready to seek forgiveness.
your sorries, top with flowers and wonderful dates.
yes, i require high maintenance now, due to the great damages you've made.

till then.
i'mma grab myself some medication to sleep.

i love my girls for being there for me, atleast making me not thinking of the scorching pain my heart feels everytime my phone feel silent for such a long time.

no matter what.
just remember, i love you so much.
but that doesnt mean i would live my life with you, hurting me.

adios'