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Sunday, January 25, 2009
right when i think i am THEE lowest point ever...you proved me wrg.you actually managed to pull me lower, to the extent i nvr knew possible.geee... how bout that!then again. i shall cry to my sleep tonight...i sometimes wonder, why did i ever get into this mess in the first place.not that i hate being where i am now.i actually saw IT comingme crying. you yelling. me crying again.and BAM! i am left alone, with no one to pour my heart out to.why be in this situation when it is a boring one?why even be nice..when its said that i'm like a SLUTWHORE?why even bother crying when its like crying in the sea?why? i even bother typing this shit when none of you even know what the fuck i am writing about!i am sick.. no not physically, that i just got well.but mentally and emotionally.i am suppose to be prone to this.and yet.i cry. and yeti have my hopes and dreams.for something fresh and interesting..all the way.when all is given and ever wanted was boring and stable.and yet...i took the risk.i have myself to blame,cause... i actually saw it coming.i am so foolish! i hate myself!and you!you dont have the right words to say anymore.you say stupid things at a stupid time.you say wrg things at the wrong time.THERE!! i said it!!!i couldnt believe.you havent change....but boy oh boy. let me tell you.you're changing me.i;m getting better at this game...you'll see.p/s: i have enuff of "ouh i am just kidding". this time. my therapist.. told me. i need to do this for myself and just prepare for the "worst".even after an apology. i couldnt believe u judge me like that.even after the SARCASM.. i couldnt believe you still dont say the right things.even after the "LET IT ALL OUT"... i still never get ANYTHING from you...and the worst is...even after... i knew this was coming... i still HOPE & DREAM... why the hell am i still crying!!!!!!and again. to you.
sleep. is better than making me feel okay.
ending it with silence is better than effort to make me feel fine.
i am so effing pizz!! not because of you.because of ME!i know all these is coming.this is not the first time...but what in the world i even bother having hopes that things would change!i hate myself. hate my dreams. hopes. expectations.well. what can i saya girl can dream....that doesnt mean its coming true. right?
yes people.
i am the kind. i fought with my boyfriend and actually live to blog abt it.
i am not the kind that smile and actually kiss up if its even after he broke my favourite vase and pretend just for the sake of being in frt of people.
no people.
i am not the kind.
that pretend to be in a loveydovey relationship.
when they are ups and downs.
i state it all down. through it all.
its love and its life,
i am just honest.
cause this IS my blog afterall.
he is sleeping people.
and i am here crying.
what else is new.
i love him. all my life. never ever been like before.
even when he is such a jerk... or when he is being such a precious....
and hey, i am still with him.
loyal. faithful mostly happy.
i hate the fact that i even thought the chance to lead the ship way i want, every once and a while.
but i guess i was wrg, again.
i just hate myself for being so weak.
but people.
keep your judgement to yourself.
i love my boyfriend so very much. thank you.
and i shall now continue my crying off the keyboard, onto the bed.
gdnight scums.
p/s: this is one post. that even after it all.
i swear i wont regret posting this.
it comes from the heart.
from the crying. the anger the love.
trust me. the love is furreal.
this is one darn honest post.
thats all.
xoxo ♥ sue:
4:36:00 AM
Sunday, January 25, 2009
right when i think i am THEE lowest point ever...you proved me wrg.you actually managed to pull me lower, to the extent i nvr knew possible.geee... how bout that!then again. i shall cry to my sleep tonight...i sometimes wonder, why did i ever get into this mess in the first place.not that i hate being where i am now.i actually saw IT comingme crying. you yelling. me crying again.and BAM! i am left alone, with no one to pour my heart out to.why be in this situation when it is a boring one?why even be nice..when its said that i'm like a SLUTWHORE?why even bother crying when its like crying in the sea?why? i even bother typing this shit when none of you even know what the fuck i am writing about!i am sick.. no not physically, that i just got well.but mentally and emotionally.i am suppose to be prone to this.and yet.i cry. and yeti have my hopes and dreams.for something fresh and interesting..all the way.when all is given and ever wanted was boring and stable.and yet...i took the risk.i have myself to blame,cause... i actually saw it coming.i am so foolish! i hate myself!and you!you dont have the right words to say anymore.you say stupid things at a stupid time.you say wrg things at the wrong time.THERE!! i said it!!!i couldnt believe.you havent change....but boy oh boy. let me tell you.you're changing me.i;m getting better at this game...you'll see.p/s: i have enuff of "ouh i am just kidding". this time. my therapist.. told me. i need to do this for myself and just prepare for the "worst".even after an apology. i couldnt believe u judge me like that.even after the SARCASM.. i couldnt believe you still dont say the right things.even after the "LET IT ALL OUT"... i still never get ANYTHING from you...and the worst is...even after... i knew this was coming... i still HOPE & DREAM... why the hell am i still crying!!!!!!and again. to you.
sleep. is better than making me feel okay.
ending it with silence is better than effort to make me feel fine.
i am so effing pizz!! not because of you.because of ME!i know all these is coming.this is not the first time...but what in the world i even bother having hopes that things would change!i hate myself. hate my dreams. hopes. expectations.well. what can i saya girl can dream....that doesnt mean its coming true. right?
yes people.
i am the kind. i fought with my boyfriend and actually live to blog abt it.
i am not the kind that smile and actually kiss up if its even after he broke my favourite vase and pretend just for the sake of being in frt of people.
no people.
i am not the kind.
that pretend to be in a loveydovey relationship.
when they are ups and downs.
i state it all down. through it all.
its love and its life,
i am just honest.
cause this IS my blog afterall.
he is sleeping people.
and i am here crying.
what else is new.
i love him. all my life. never ever been like before.
even when he is such a jerk... or when he is being such a precious....
and hey, i am still with him.
loyal. faithful mostly happy.
i hate the fact that i even thought the chance to lead the ship way i want, every once and a while.
but i guess i was wrg, again.
i just hate myself for being so weak.
but people.
keep your judgement to yourself.
i love my boyfriend so very much. thank you.
and i shall now continue my crying off the keyboard, onto the bed.
gdnight scums.
p/s: this is one post. that even after it all.
i swear i wont regret posting this.
it comes from the heart.
from the crying. the anger the love.
trust me. the love is furreal.
this is one darn honest post.
thats all.
♥ sue,
4:36:00 AM
Suefyzah Myonette Gomez Md. period.
she's FATTA-Bolous at thebigTWO
♥ 11 Dec'89.
her ♥ is numbed.
under construction :))
