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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

i am beginning to grin again....
hopefully my grin last long enough for me to pick up the pieces in my life again..

i wanna thank greatly to those who is/was/are/were with me through this rough phase.
everynight i pray that god blesses their souls to be here in my life.
making my darkest corner of life bright.

i have come to a conclusion..
and i need my dearest friends to speak up on their view.

in other words.. oh yan,
Pendirian ku tegap jumlah kali kita bertengkar memang genap untuk kau ketahap ini
Silap kita memang patut sama sama kena sepak
Tapi bukan niatku untuk salahkan dirimu aku sedar ku
juga ada kekuranganku tapi kalau bersifat mementingkan
diri sendiri untuk kebaikan bukan kurang ajar tu..

i wonder. if he were to do this to me this time due to his selfish reason...
if there is ever a next time.. would he ever do this to me again...
i guess he could....if he screw me and left me once. he can always screw me and leave me again.
and when i mean screw as in drill me. and get me caught in his love....okay.

need i be selfish to get what i need or want or feel like its worthy in my life?
see!@#&*&$&*$^@^$@#@_)#_@! i told myself not to be dependent so much.
and see!U*@&$&@#&@)*$*@&$&) i am already stuck with it!
argh! i feel like running at full speed and hit on a wall...
knock myself out in unconciousness and wake up only when all feelings are gone.
and all i can feel is numb...

yeah. can ?

i wish that day would come...
that i would sing...

lagu ini bukan di radio setiap hari utkmu
lagu ini tidak perlu kao kembalikan kepadaku
lagu ini hanya ingin kau fahami...ku sudah teruskan hidupku,
semuanya cun saja....

(: one day wud come...
that i shall sing this proudly.

thank u lalabyby for the song..
i enjoy the melodramatic chat we had this morning.
with the plot and scene. it was very real.

evenso, i hope he isnt mad at me....
cause the thought of it is killing me... and i cant sleep
and my heart starting to burn again...

as i wonder about what am i going to do now.
did i just get myself into a deeper shit.?

why. :'(


















xoxo ♥ sue:
2:32:00 AM