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wad wrg i've done

Monday, January 16, 2006
dear diary ,

isit so wrong to not reply the love of sumone?
isit a sin to not love sumone in return?
isit a crime to reject sumone love?
isit deadly to love sumone else!!??

i had my friends' back turned against me.
its so pure.. i dun deserve it.
so what? my frens think i'm heartless now?
u cun force love on sumone.
especially when the person has just overcome a heartbreaking moment.

maybe ur frens didnt tell u straight in a face...
but u can just feel it.

"u're such a bitch. why cant u just accept him. his nice!! so loyal. why others? why not him? purposely breaking his heart huh? u're a player!! gawd he is so good.yet u do this to him. YOU dun deserve him.u're too good for him!! u're soo..heartless !!"

the thing is. its all in the past. all gone.
accepting it again. will make more mistakes.
i'm hurt enuf. its time for me to really settle down.
no more messing ard.
i really one the one tat last.
its not abt me being unloyal. its them.
but i cun just accept anione in.
the person must came into my life.
at the rite time.moment.

its just so.. complicating.
i myself dun understand myself.
its so weird. i cud cry my heart out thinking abt this.
i really do need sumone in my life.
but not anione. n not now.

its been a mth n 6 days. i'm still not 100percent over tat pimp!!
fcuk! i'm so grateful i got marc. by my side.
its not wrg. i truly nid it.
i demand for no more nonsenses.shyts. n problem.
enuf of it.
i dun wanna be a multilator again!
dun let me...

i just need sumone.
dat can promise me that they wun leave me.
not him. anybody.not him.
please. i've hurt him so much. n he hurt me too much.
i'm not gud fer him.
those werds kill me. so dats enuf

i even fought with my frens over small matter.
cold war till now.
wtfish huh. but thats life.
if oni sumone see him the way i do...
then definitely.. she wud oso move away frm his life.
its awkward.weird.strange.

i havto be strong. no more tears.
dun let anythin force u to do agst ur will.
dun let go wad i hav now.
wads mine is mine.
i wun let go. -.-'"

to whom it may concern...
dun leave me k?..
i really need you...
only you understand the dreadful state i'm in....

xoxo wishing i was a dead xoxo i still hating jerome xoxo

xoxo ♥ sue:
9:04:00 PM